There are no words...(T-6 days)

I am not even sure where to begin with this blog but after 12 doctors appointments, 1 ER visit and an MRI...(just in 1 week) not much is resolved! As I've mentioned in previous blogs...I have a great hand surgeon but he operates out of a medical school which is not so great for someone as complicated as me. Now you would think that "new doctors", just starting out in their field after all the schooling would find someone like me fascinating but it's absolutely the opposite. I am just a waste of their time.

Tomorrow, I add a new doctor to "Team Stacy" (at my home hospital thankgoodness) ..an Electro-physiologist because apparently there are issues with my heart now. Lovely huh? I will know more tomorrow after seeing the doctor before I report what the problem is.

Uncle Mickey and I spent about 12 hours in 2 days at various doctor's offices trying to make a "Team B" for me while I will be admitted into the hospital next week. This proved unsuccessful -- but we finally got the arrogant endocrinologist who thought I was "below what he does" to agree to administer my IV Vitamin C... so important and imperitive for my healing. Actually, he will send his FELLOW to follow me. He is too important for trival things like me!

I am left dangling for who will be taking care of administering my IV Heparin. The hand surgeon, although an MD....and although he could get direct orders from my hematologist that I see regularly, does not feel comfortable writing orders for Heparin. I could write the orders frankly, I know exactly what needs to be done-- it really is not that complicated people...I'm more complicated than the orders are!

Usually when I find out I need surgery, it is unfortunate but expected with me so I have 4 phases to prepare myself. Right now, I would be in phase 4 because I am supposedly being admitted on Tuesday (for surgery on Wednesday) however, I am worried about all different things now. Usually, I worry about the recovery, pain, pins, casts, therapies etc. But for this surgery, I'm worried about living through it. About getting my meds dosed correctly, about doctors not re-writing orders because "who gets Heparin so soon after surgery?" I am petrified. So I am not really sure what phase I am in.. I just know it is not a good one.

I am trying to just resign myself to accept whatever happens. I can tell you though, this will be the FIRST and LAST time I have surgery at University Hospital in Newark! (Associated with UMDNJ medical school)

Lastly.... I appreciate so much the support of my family and friends. Please understand that some of you will want to visit me after the surgery in the hospital. I am really asking for no visitors. Those close to me or those who would like, you can get my cellphone number..others can follow me through the blog. Really, please understand this is very difficult for me... I appreciate your thought and care, but please respect my wishes. Thank you!

Will keep you posted...
Stacy