10 weeks and it feels harder than ever!

I have now been home just about 10 weeks and I cannot seem to get over the "hospitalitis" that I have. I know a lot of it has to do with not being able to drive and being alone all day, every day....on the days that I have a doctor appointment or physical therapy I get out a little bit but that's it.

Michele is due to have her baby any week (I think within the next 2 weeks) and I feel 'trapped!' I will not be able to just go to the hospital to see them when I want to or just go to her house when I feel like it. I will need to arrange transportation, I will need to impose on family to take me to and from. I feel badly about it on many different levels!

Perhaps as the weather turns nicer and I can maybe crutch outside...or when the pool opens and I can float in my raft, or I get my flowers, I will be more motivated. I know a lot of my lack of motivation and 'burned out feeling' is that I am still facing surgery-- which needs to happen sooner than later. I am trying to arrange it around when Michele has the baby. Right now so as not to miss the birth, and his first few weeks maybe I can have the surgery the beginning of June. Just thinking about needing anesthesia, stitches, pins, casts, and more hospital makes me weak and tired.

I had hoped that by now I would have been more adjusted to being home. I know it is not abnormal for what I have been through to feel this way. After all who spends 8 months away from home in a hospital setting? I need to just re-program myself to actually living life. However, it is much harder than it sounds.

It is tough, I am working hard, I just wish I felt better.

To be continued...
Stacy